The Parrot

A guy is having marital problems. He and the
wife are not communicating at all and he's
lonesome, so he goes to a pet store thinking a
pet might help.

The store he happened into specialized in
parrots. As he wanders down the rows of parrots
he notices one with no feet. Surprised he
mutters "I wonder how he hangs onto the perch?"

The parrot says "With my prick, you dummy."

The guy is startled and says "You certainly talk
well for a parrot."

The parrot says "Of course, I'm a very well
educated parrot. I can discuss politics, sports,
religion, most any subject you wish."

The guy says "Gee, you sound like just what I was
looking for."

The parrot says "There's not much of a market for
maimed parrots. If you offer the proprietor $20
for me, I'll bet he'll sell me."

The guy buys the parrot and for three months
things go great. When he comes home from work
the parrot tells him Clinton said this, the A's
won, the Giant's lost, the pope did so and so.

One day the guy comes home from work and the
parrot waves a wing at him and says "Come in and
shut the door."

The guy says "What's up?"

The parrot says "I don't know how to tell you
this, but the mailman came today. Your wife
answered the door in her negligee and he kissed
her right on the lips."

The guy says "Oh, A momentary flight of passion."

The parrot says "Well, maybe, but then he fondled
her breasts."

The guy says "He did??"

The parrot says "Yes. Then he pulled her negligee
down and started sucking on her breasts."

The guy says "My God, what happened next?!?"

The parrot says "I don't know. I got a hard-on
and fell off my perch."