The Captain

A captain of a Scottish regiment barges into a
chemist's. He's in full regalia: kilt, waistcoat,
tam o'shanter, leggings. He marches up to the
counter and plops down a very bedraggled sheepskin
condom.

"How much fer a new one?" he demands.

The chemist pokes at it and says, "Four pounds."

The captain frowns. "How much to repair it?"

The chemist thinks. "Two pounds."

The captain says, "I'll be back," and marches out
of the store.

An hour later he barges back in and says: "The
lads of the regiment have voted for a new one."